Don't ever mock a trauma survivor!
Content warning: brief description of eating disorders, and the mocking of trauma symptoms by close people in your life.
I hear what you’re thinking: “How can one possibly mock a survivor of trauma? How is that even possible?!”. I will tell you how!
I had someone decently close in my life mocking me for my weight. And, yes, I will tell you have this relates to trauma!
As some may know, but others don’t; weight gain is a post-traumatic symptom that is fairly common. Some of us (like me) develop eating disorders like binge eating disorder or other similar conditions. You can even gain weight by not eating, because then your body is starving and will take every little thing it gets to create more fat… I did both binge eating and starving.
While my dad’s partner (yes, this was my “stepmother”!) didn’t really know about my eating disorders, she did know about my trauma. She always downplayed it, though. She always thought I exaggerated it. She was totally surprised when I ended up needing trauma-informed therapy at the specialist department of the hospital, because of what I had been through. “She’s just a drama queen”, she said about me.
One day, I had bought a dress for my niece’s baptism, and I was describing how beautiful I felt, but also how hard it is to find dresses that fit my boobs as well as my stomach. My “stepmother” immediately said, “Well, your fingers aren’t fat at least”. Yes, you read that correctly! She really said that!
Now I also know I have PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome), which makes it even more difficult to lose weight! So it’s both because of PCOS and a result of trauma. But she won’t ever know what it’s like…
It’s very easy to close your eyes or look in another direction, but you still feel this need to “say what you really think” without any care or compassion for the other person. It’s very easy to be mean. It’s way easier in this world than being a compassionate, kind person! I know because many people choose to be mean before being kind.
But let me tell you: never mock a trauma survivor. It will come back to you!
